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Tuesday 31 March 2015

How I used to beat my wife By Wale Ojo Lanre

How I used to beat my wife By Wale Ojo Lanre
beater but i am
and I am not ashamed of this
I am not you
You are not me
So I beat her silly.
I performed all the traditions and fulfilled all the rites of making her mine
I gave out money to buy her only for the family to return the money to my parent
telling us "we are not selling our daughter "
But can they return the prostrations and ,,,,
So I have her as my own and I have the legal and traditional right to tame her in my own way
And don't blame me
it is not inherited for my father till his death Akin never raised his hand against my mum
How can ? He was not fit to raise his hand against Mopelola Aduke ( with humility)
But that was his own meat and pie
For me , I was trained to beat my wife
Yes , in my secondary School
at Ansar -Ud - Denn Grammar School , Ikare Akoko, Ondo state
though a muslim school but , the motto is "towards religious harmony "
the school in 1978 - 82 ensured that we normally listened to inspirational messages from out tutors .
There was this man , our Vice Principal then , I cannot remember his name .a native of Ilorin . He always used Abraham Lincoln as a reference point
But one day , he told us about the virtue in tolerance , patience and how to beat ones wife .
His tale
" There was this quarrelsome woman who is good at nagging and a trouble maker par excellence .
She has a carefree husband who sometimes engaged in shouting bout a with the wife and whenever he engaged her , the woman is always getting higher in her abusive and tormenting tendencies .
This day , the lady was on her usual act , bullying and cursing the husband.
And she noticed very strange though that this man refused to utter a word .
The lady hots up her torment , thundering like a Shango , the man instead of the usual shouting bout was looking at her ferociously angry and almost deranged wife.
Angered at this nonchalant attitude of her husband , the wife entered the kitchen and brought a bowl of water and drenched the husband !
The husband remained unmoved , looked at the wife and said "baby thank you . I know after thunder there must be rain . Thank you for this rain which banished the heat off me . God bless you ""
The wife was shocked. She could not believe what is going on .
She .knelt down , burst into tears and asked the husband for forgiveness
Since that day , PEACE and BLISS entered their matrimonial home "
All students of AUD Grammar School, Ikare ( 1978 -82 set ) will never forget this man who always used Abraham Lincoln as an example
Thus I learnt the act of how to beat my wife silly .
And it has worked and still working - SILENCE is It !
Kudos to Charlie Boy too for bringing up this issue
You can see I am a professional wife beater
I love this !